


A Guide to Writing Amnesia by an Amnesiac. Steven Universe Edition.

by Lordsamethstarr



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Amnesia, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trauma, Writing Guide, tutorial
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:34:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22381138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lordsamethstarr/pseuds/Lordsamethstarr
Summary: A day in the life of Steven if he lost his memories past the age of 12.A guide on how to be more accurate depicting amnesia, featuring Steven Universe and written by an actual amnesiac.
Comments: 15
Kudos: 102





	A Guide to Writing Amnesia by an Amnesiac. Steven Universe Edition.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a writing guide made from my own personal experiences. This is specified to MY amnesia, which is retrograde and associated with both trauma and medical complications. Other people have different amnesia. In a sense we all have amnesia. Don't take it too seriously.

Hi there, I am Sameth. I’m 29 years old, female, and both a writer and an artist. I am also an amnesiac.

I have a 10 year gap in my memory due to a medical complication. In really simple terms, I am sensitive to the side effects of general anesthetic, and frequent use is rather rough on my brain. I found that out the hard way after 2-3 years of Electroconvulsive Therapy, which can also cause amnesia. Specifically, I have retrograde amnesia, which is more common with PTSD and trauma, where the person forgets things from around the period of trauma, or stressful times, but can still form new memories.

I’m here to give advice about writing characters with retrograde amnesia! I’m going to start with a disclaimer: This is based on my personal experience. Other people experience it differently and uniquely. Also, none of these are hard rules, go ahead and break them if it means you’ll get the narrative you are looking for. Writing is supposed to be fun, and some excellent plots can come from breaking rules and getting creative! This is merely how I experience it, and can give you a guide for writing a more authentic memory loss experience.

With me here is the star of Cartoon Network’s Steven Universe Future, Steven himself. He’s a 17 year old human gem hybrid who is having some issues getting his life together. The usual teenage drama with a drop of magic. Good stuff. He is also a perfect example of a character that would be prone to retrograde amnesia because that boy has dealt with a lot of stress and trauma these last few years.

Now, let’s take away his memories. Specifically, I am removing his memories from after his 12th birthday. Let’s go right back to extra classic Steven, from before he has even realized his powers. To when the first series first started. Now let’s see how a day in his life goes.

Disclaimer: Further uses of "Amnesia" refer to retrograde amnesia. Short term and long term memory loss have different properties. 

\---

Steven wakes up in his room to his phone alarm. He turns it off, and gets up and looks around his room. Everything is normal, nothing feels strange. Even though his room is completely different than when he was twelve, this feels normal. His brain still remembers and notes this as his normal bedroom, as it has been for the last X years. - Amnesia does not reset your brain as if you had time traveled. Your “normal” still feels normal. If Steven questioned how his room ended up this way, he would have some issues remembering the renovation, but most people do not wake up and immediately wonder why their bedroom looks normal.

He notices a photo on his end table, taken at an exotic location with Connie. On the back it says “Norway” and has a date. Steven doesn’t remember going to Norway, nor taking that picture. He begins to feel uncomfortable. - If he hadn't found the picture, he would never have realized he was missing memories of going to Norway. A normal person doesn’t suddenly wonder if they have been somewhere they have never been, and then wonder if they have and just forgot. The photo is the only reason he questions it.

Steven goes downstairs and completes his morning routine with no issues. He greets all the Gems by name in his usual fashion. Their appearances, although very different than when he was twelve, are familiar and normal. - With amnesia, relationships do not reset, all the experiences they had to build that relationship still happened and still had an impact, even if they can’t specifically remember the event. Steven would actually be more uncomfortable if they were their initial season 1 appearance. 

Steven is aware that Garnet is a fusion between a Ruby and a Sapphire. He does not know how he learned that, but has no reason to question it. Everything still feels normal.

Steven decides to go out, and he grabs his car keys from the usual spot and goes down to the Dondai. He is aware that the vehicle belongs to him, and is comfortable driving it. He knows he is 17 and has a license. Amethyst is outside, “Nice car, where’d you get it?” He freezes. Where did he get it? - When you own something, you typically know it is yours without having to recall when or where it became yours. You know it’s your cell phone without having to draw up the memory of entire process of signing up for a plan or paying for it. It is actually pretty common to forget how or where you got something, like socks. You know the pink ones are yours, but do you remember buying them? With amnesia, this gets large scale. In this case, Steven will have forgotten the race with Kevin entirely, and seeing the car for the first time. But he does know it belongs to him, and he can comfortably drive it.

Time to stop at the Big Donut! Dewey is working register, as normal. Nothing feels unusual. Steven thinks back to when he was Mayor, and then stops. When did he STOP being Mayor? He knows Dewey is no longer mayor, but cannot remember how that happened. Lars and Sadie no longer work there. He knows this but he can’t figure out how or when that happened. Now he is realizing something is wrong. He thinks he might just be tired. - While he can recall things from before he was 12, current reality still registers as correct in his brain. It makes it difficult to draw connections though, and there are gaps in information. This is probably the most eerie part of amnesia. Again, if Sadie was at the counter, Steven would probably feel like something was off.

Steven runs into Sadie and Shep outside. He grins “Sadie!” he greets her enthusiastically before turning to Shep, “Oh, Hi, are you Sadie’s friend? I’m Steven, nice to meet you!” Sadie reminds Steven that they met at graduation. Steven doesn’t remember the event, but he is aware of the information that graduation happened. Now he feels even more concerned. You don’t forget a graduation. - As a long time friend, Sadie is familiar on a visceral level and social interactions will just come naturally as you don’t need to rethink events to “click” with friends. Steven doesn’t know Shep very well, and doesn’t interact naturally with them. This makes them easier to forget, since they play a very small role in Steven’s life right now. Steven is also aware that graduation happened, and knows he attended. That’s about all he knows, he does not remember anything that happened there. (I forgot my own graduation. I know I did graduate and have photos from the ceremony, but I do not remember the event.)

Steven runs into Peridot and she mentions that she wants to go to the old farm. Steven agrees to go with her, and is able to warp there. Upon arriving, Steven is shocked to see that the barn is gone. He is aware that Peridot and Lapis don’t live there. He does not know they lived there at all. He just has the knowledge that there was a barn there. - This location was introduced AFTER Steven’s 12th birthday and falls within his amnesia dark spot, but since he visited it a lot there is still the comfort from familiarity. Since the barn was strongly associated with the location, he would know that a barn belongs here, but he won’t remember that the barn was destroyed, or any role it played (Lapis and Peridot living there, or Cluster prep)

Steven sees a shiny object and bubbles it and warps it to the Temple. He does not know where he learned to bubble things, or even how he awakened to his powers. But he can still use them. - He does not lose skills he learned, he just can’t remember learning them. 

Steven has no issues navigating Little Homeworld, but he can’t remember exactly when it was established. He does not remember the construction even though he can comfortably navigate. If you asked him where to find a washroom, he would be able to tell you.

Steven runs into a guy who calls himself “Kevin”. Even though he has only said his name, he is giving off tremendous douchebag vibes. Maybe it’s the scarf. He seems to know Stevonnie and says they’ve “partied” together before. Steven shrugs him off as a creepy stalker and doesn’t question things further. - He knows Stevonnie is a fusion between him and Connie. That’s about all he knows. Unless he tries to remember a specific event with Stevonnie, for example their first fusion, he won’t even know something is wrong as he has no reason to suspect that he actually forgot who Kevin is.

Steven runs into Lars. He is pink, and that feels normal. Steven knows he has a pocket dimension in his hair. Steven does not know how this came to be, or that Lars had died. Steven doesn’t question it or try to remember, he hasn’t been given a reason to. He notices nothing strange at all. - A typical person does not bring up random memories for no reason. You don’t look at your friends pink hair and question why it is pink every single time you see them and then remember that it used to be brown and they dyed it. If Steven had reason to wonder why then things would get awkward. But he has no reason to, so he doesn’t notice at all that he can’t remember.

Steven orders a vegetarian pizza. Nothing wrong. He knows he is vegetarian. - A good guideline to follow is that if something _is_ they probably know it, but if something _was_ , they forgot it. 

Steven knows that Pink Diamond and Rose Quartz are the same person. He doesn’t know why or how. He won’t question it unless something gives him cause to, in which case he will only grow confused. - He will maintain his CURRENT feelings of her, he will not revert back to loving and admiring her. Those events still happened and still shaped his character, that character development does not leave with his memories.

Steven randomly goes to the moon base. Although he has been there before, he doesn’t remember, it is completely new and unfamiliar to him. - Less familiar locations are pretty much gone if they didn’t exist outside the “dark spot”. Since he didn’t go to the moon base often, or before he was 12, there will be no memory of it. This is his new first time. HOWEVER, his memories can be sparked by objects there, such as the airlock. That is up to the writer. (With my personal amnesia, the airlock would trigger a memory, if I was Steven.)

Steven’s personality does not change, although he will seem out of it. He can recall his childhood with great accuracy, but anything passed his 12th birthday will either be non existent, or fuzzy. Memories can come back with prompting or photos, but not always the case. He will not be more stupid. He might even remember random trivia. (I remembered how to solve a Rubik’s cube the whole time.)

As evening comes around and he goes home, he might suspect a memory problem and bring it up to someone. This will be the point he confirms he has amnesia. It took him half the day to even suspect something was wrong, and a full day to confirm it. If his amnesia is gradual onset, due to a head injury or other illness, it could take even longer to discover he has amnesia.

Things to note:  
He will remember close friends and people he knew from before he turned 12. He will forget people he does not have a bond with.  
He will remember locations he visits frequently, or locations he went to before he turned 12.  
He will remember ”facts”, including personal possession ownership, that he is a Diamond, his current favorite foods, his dad has short hair. He will NOT remember how these came to be though.  
His body size and shape will still feel normal and natural; he does not feel weird because he is not in his 12 year old self’s body.  
His personality will not change  
He does not lose any skills he learned and honed in the dark period. He can still play music, drive, and use his Gem powers.  
Most importantly, he is stressed and still needs therapy. He just can’t remember why.

Take some time in your day to notice how many times you actually “remember” things. People live life going forward typically, so you actually don’t rely on memories as much as you would think. I forgot an entire trip to Disneyland. If nobody had told me I had gone I would never even have known I had forgotten it. I would not be the least bit disturbed about it. My memories form fine and stable now, and the further away I get from my “end amnesia” date, the less it really matters. While it could be disturbing at times, it never dominated my life, and I don’t even think about it every day. There are awkward side effects for sure, like having to remind my Mom that I don’t remember her wedding, or having to mourn a death twice, but overall it didn’t hurt my life so bad, and was not particularly traumatizing. Inconvenient and weird perhaps, but not as big of a deal as it can sometimes be made out to be.

I hope this helps in writing your amnesiac characters. I am a sucker for memory loss fics, even if they aren’t written accurately, so don’t be afraid to dive into your favorite characters and delete some memories for personal entertainment, in whichever way you like! I just wanted to share my experience and I hope you found it to be interesting at the very least!

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to ask questions in the comments. I will answer and update accordingly.


End file.
